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I knew there would come a point in this 2000 mile journey that something would give out. My legs? My abs? Feet? While those are all super tired, my mind is giving out big time. I still love running, which is what I was most afraid of losing, but my mind is slowing giving out. After each run, I feel great. Still tired, sore and run down but I love to run. It’s my mind that I have to convince before, during and after each and every run anymore. The mental game is starting to win. I can’t even think about running anymore. I just have to do it. I can’t hit snooze and I have negotiate with my mind every run to keep going and not let it win and cut my runs short. I knew this would be a hard journey, but I never knew how much my mind would sabotage or try to sabotage each and every run. I don’t know if it is because it’s so dang hot here or because I am so tired or what, but every running morning that alarm goes off, I have to jump right out of bed before my mind realizes what is going on. And during my runs, I have to ignore the SCREAMING voice in my head to cut my run short. Ugh, it’s been tough.
My biggest worry wasn’t that I wouldn’t finish my 2000 miles because of my mind. I knew or thought I knew I could convince my mind to do it, so I focused and keep focusing on keeping my body healthy to finish. But my mind is the weakest link. And ultimately what I am most worried about is next year and beyond. Will my mind completely cut me off this year? Yes, I’ve already thought of next year and what I want to accomplish. I am so afraid that when I don’t “have” to run like this year, I will bag A LOT of runs. That my mind will win! I need to figure out how to not fall into that trap. I wasn’t going to set too many goals next year outside of just getting my speed back, but now I think I should loosely set some goal. Oy, more running goals…LOL! Why is the mind such a killer on confidence and strength?
So, here I am. Mentally drained with a lot of miles to go. What helps your mental game?
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